


An Awkward Rift

by CrunchySalad



Series: Yuletide 2012 [2]
Category: Eyeshield 21
Genre: Gen, No Sex, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrunchySalad/pseuds/CrunchySalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Introspection from chapter 185.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Awkward Rift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deuil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deuil/gifts).



There was some kind of chasm between them. Once upon a time it might have been as small as a crack in a sidewalk, but now it might as well have been a great canyon. And it had grown so slowly and so naturally that Agon hadn't even noticed.

But he remembered how things used to be. They said that twins sometimes had a special bond, and Agon wasn't sure if he believed it, but he remembered when he and Unsui might as well have been one person. They were always together, holding hands and dressed in the matching outfits their mother used to buy for them. Agon in blue and Unsui in green. Unsui and Agon. Agon and Unsui. Their parents would call one and they would both come running.

 _You came out of the womb holding hands_ , their mother told them once, a few days before she had passed away. _That's how strong the bond between you is. So, no matter what, you have to always take care of each other_.

And they had believed her. But they had been children. . . children believed a lot of things. Agon could still remember her face when she said it, too, gentle but all too pale, the yellow lights of the hospital room casting ghastly shadows over her normally pretty features.

Is that when it had started? Their mother's death? No. For some time after that they had been even closer. Their father had let them sleep in his futon with him, two tiny bodies buried within a nest of blankets. It still felt empty without her, but not as empty as it would have been if they didn't have each other.

But life went on. Time kept moving, even without her. They grew up. They stopped doing childish things like holding hands, wearing matching outfits, and sleeping in the same futon. They became people of their own. Agon. Unsui. The Kongo brothers, sometimes, when it was applicable, but no one thought of them as one entity anymore, not when they were so different.

Was that what it was? Had they drifted apart when Unsui took the stern, studious role to Agon's wild child? Agon wasn't sure. He remembers getting into sports. He remembers excelling at all of them. He remembers basking in his father's pride and adoration.

 _Talent like yours isn't something normal people have,_ his father said once. _Someone like you, you can do whatever the hell you want. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise._

Maybe they had drifted apart then. Agon was always playing some sport or another, and while Unsui might sometimes tag along, he wasn't at a level where he could stand at Agon's side. Agon figured there must have been some jealousy. Resentment. They were twins, but he was the only one blessed with the kind of talent that came along only once every million years, while Unsui. . . well, Unsui was just another face in the crowd. Agon would be surprised if Unsui didn't resent him a little bit; it was only natural, after all. But even with that, they were still brothers. In the end they were above that, weren't they?

And then when he discovered girls, and when he met Hiruma and started to hang out with him, he spent less and less time with Unsui. Which is where he found himself now, not even able to remember the last time he had had a real conversation with his brother. 

He stood in the living room of their apartment. In front of him was his mother's framed photograph, his mother's memorial tablet. He wondered what she would think of them now. In his hand was a telephone.

"We explained the situation to him, of course," said the voice on the other end. "He seemed upset, but he can always try to enter through the normal tests, and we'd like to officially offer you the sports scholarship."

When the words started to blend together, Agon hung up the phone. He didn't need to answer yet; they would hold the scholarship open until he got back to them. He was too good for them not to. At the moment, Agon was too preoccupied with other things.

So Unsui had thought he was being offered a sports scholarship. So Unsui had thought that all his training and hard work was being recognized. Agon wasn't stupid; he knew how upset Unsui would be. He went to find his brother.

The wide, stone steps between the temple and a local park: that's where Agon found Unsui. And when he did, he also found that he didn't know what to say. Comfort just wasn't something he did, at least not since they were tiny enough that the only comfort they needed was a hug. Now, with Unsui's shoulders slumped and shaking like he was crying, Agon didn't know what to do or say. At any rate, Unsui beat him to it.

"Did you come to laugh at me?" Unsui asked.

The initial response was shock. . . and then anger. Because, yeah, Agon was generally pretty horrible with other people—why shouldn't he be, when they were all so beneath him?—but when had he ever treated his family the way he treated everyone else? 

"Yeah," he said, put out by the implication, "maybe I did."

"Can I ask you for something?" Unsui asked, as though he had come to some decision.

Agon shrugged. "Ask if you want."

"Don't waste your time on us untalented ones." With every word the self-pity in Unsui's voice grew more and more, until there was actual derision in his tone. "In the world of real strength, pity does nothing. Go forward and crush the commoners in your way. Believe in only your own power. That's how I will feel rewarded."

And with every word, with every moment that Unsui seemed to feel more and more sorry for himself, Agon's anger grew and grew. He thought about Kurita, who he already disliked mostly because he couldn't fathom why Hiruma would want to spend so much time with such a loser. But even trash like Kurita didn't give up. He kept training and training even in the face of his overwhelming ineptitude. Why should a shit like Kurita have such faith in himself when his own brother, who wasn't trash, was giving up like this? The thought made Agon hate Kurita even more. 

_Are you really satisfied with this?_ Agon wanted to ask Unsui. _What about your dreams? What about being recognized on your own merit?_

But he was angry. Angry that Unsui was giving up so easily. Angry that Unsui thought that Agon wouldn't care. Well, if Unsui thought that Agon was that much of a bastard, Agon couldn't see why he should act otherwise.

'"Even if you didn't say so," Agon said, already walking away, "I was gonna do that anyway."

And it was true, in a way, because whatever issues Unsui had weren't going to stop Agon from moving forward. He left Unsui on the steps there, still bent over, still crying, and he wondered why it was so hard for him to reach across the space that had grown between them.


End file.
